Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Saturday, January 18, 2014

Life, Love, and Family. Making a better 2014!

Life, Love, and Family. Taking it one day at a time in 2014!

Hey everyone, Desiree here. I know that I have been a bad blogger lately. Please accept my sincerest apologies on that one. We have been dealing with a lot of stuff.  Trust me. It has not been a walk in the park. The good news is the husband is well on his way to a new career. Yes! I'm hoping we get out of this rain cloud soon.

Did I mention how bad I am with money? I do not spend it, but I can't save it either. Where does it all go? Honestly we buy the necessities in life and not much more. I make my shampoo last several more months than it probably should. It all comes down to the cost of living. It is too damn high! Food is a huge money sucker upper! Am I wrong? Maybe I am not doing it right, but like I said, I really stink at that. Oh well, I think I get better at this mom stuff every year, and every kid. Hopefully that means I will get better at life in general soon too.

On to other excuses things. I am depressed. I know, I am sorry to drop that huge bomb on you out of the blue. But it is true. I have major depression and it is not getting much better. Depression, something about that word has always made me feel ashamed and even dirty. Like it was some horrible thing that another person could catch. So ashamed in fact that I have gone that last few years without uttering a word about how I feel inside. And then one day, my walls came down and I just had to cry. I cried so much that day. I rarely cry anymore. I guess holding it all in and not speaking about how I feel really took its toll on my mental health. Tonight, another night of spilling my guts out. Thinking about it gives me anxiety. I don't hide it well anymore. I know my kids can see. I have given up on myself. The world can see that. My house is either clean or an utter mess. Some days I am dressed up, makeup all done, and the next I am just in sweats and a pony tail. If some things are done well, others are seriously lacking. Everything around me is just as I feel inside. Which means that the world sees me. I rather just hide.

I didn't make any New Years Resolutions for 2014. But I do have some goals right now for our life and family.
  • 1. To try and be happy. It should be that easy, I know. I really wish that it was. I love my children and everyone that is in my life. None of that fake stuff. 
  • 2. To get out of my comfort zone and do more. I need to give myself room to grow. If you put a plant in a small jar, it is never going to show it's full potential. Why do I do this to myself? I need to get out and do more for my mind, body and soul. Bring the kids to the park, to Chuck 'E' Cheese, any where but here. 
  • 3. Do more for my body! I say it all of the time. "I wish I was as fat as I was when I first thought I was fat." I gained way too much with my first child, it just stuck to me. I need to lose 60bs to be in the "okay" range for my height. That just makes me want to eat cake. Chocolate cake. mmm. Did I mention I am an emotional eater? Not a good combination. 
  • 4. Get more out of blogging. My blog was a great outlet for how I felt and my thoughts once upon a time. It helped with my depression and gave me a bit of social interaction. I created some great friendships too. Then, I fell off the face of the planet. Don't worry, I did this in real life too. Whoops. It wasn't intentional, I promise. I just couldn't handle much of life anymore. But I am coming back to planet Earth. I want to rejoin the species. Ah. It wont be easy. 
  • 5. Enjoy each and every day with my kids. Make everyday unique and matter more. No more rushing for them to get ready, to put their gloves and hats on. No more being in such a hurry that I miss the moments that matter most, those moments that I can never get back. No More of getting frustrated so easily. They grow up so fast. I feel like I have been half asleep or most of it. It saddens me so much that I have been sad almost everyday of their life. And it was my fault for not realizing the impact. No more of it. Okay, it isn't so easy. But I will try. 

We did have some incredible moments in 2013, but I will be damned if I don't make 2014 the most exciting year yet!

I did officially Marry the love of my life in 2013! Feel free to browse those incredible photos below. 
Our wedding was gorgeous. It was held at lake Pearl Lucianos in MA. 

Sorry for all the pictures. I just had to share the good memories. I can't believe it took us 8 years to finally tie the knot! Sure, we did it all backwards. Our love story is far from ordinary in itself. Normal people wouldn't have met how we did. So in an odd way, this worked for us. We have a home, a family and now I have his last name. I can't wait to enjoy each and every day as a Mrs.! 

What did you accomplish in 2013?Read this article next.

Friday, January 25, 2013

The Breastfed Family

All three of my children have been breastfed. Each of our breastfeeding journeys differs in experience and duration. My first child was the ONLY of my children to have a bottle. Which was forced upon us in the hospital. After we left that nightmare, she was exclusively breastfed.

My first child (A), had an extremely difficult time trying to latch. This was brought on by a multitude of factors. Being that I was still young and it was my first child, I had no idea what to expect or how to learn the right way to breastfeed. It's mainly trial and error. I had no experience with baby A. No family that could teach me how to do it. The fact that I had an emergency Cesarean section wouldn't have even mattered, if I could move my body at all. The numbness consumed me. If only baby A and I could get that skin to skin contact right away. Maybe things would have been different.

Baby A - 3 days old
The thought of a lactation consultant didn't come to mind until the medical staff forced me to supplement. I was immensely distraught over not being able to do what was completely natural. 

I remember thinking to myself, "How can I not know how to do this?" The questions I would ask myself would just make the pain more intense. I felt like I was letting my baby down. My body was letting me down. The pain was unbearable. This is the most natural act that I could do, and yet I could not get it to work. My experience was dreadful. The Nurses were of no help. They were awful even. There was even a nurse who was getting flustered by my lack of knowledge in breastfeeding. She would hold tight onto my breast and try to force it into my baby A's mouth. It was so painful. This nurse was far too forceful, and I now know that this is not the proper way to latch a baby. You do not need to grip the breast the way she was. Honestly I feel if I was left alone, I could have managed to do it. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

How did you feel the moment you became a parent?

This post is supposed to be about how I felt the moment I became a parent. Since there are no words to describe the amazement I felt, I want to tell the story with pictures. My first child was born in 2008 by emergency c-section after she just would not come out and my blood pressure rose above 160/100. 

Afterwards I could barely move my fingers. Sadly, I could not breastfeed her right away like I could with my second and third born. Which in turn created obstacles for us with breastfeeding. It eventually worked out and she was exclusively breastfed after being home from the hospital. A Great Family Resource

You can find a lot of great family resources on the web. Such websites as,, can be very helpful. 

Recently I stumbled across It's really easy to navigate and has a clean and fresh look to it. I had no problem signing up. It was quick, easy and above all free.

You can find a lot of different bite size articles on There is a little of something for everybody.